SPORTS
Another New Lions Team!
December 22th, 2005
That’s right Detroit Lions fans! It’s that time of year again, and you know the Lions do this for us fickle fans every two or three years. Scrap the whole coaching staff, along with half the team, and start over with a newfound sense of “this time we’ll get it right”. Well, let’s not hold our breath on that hope, I think we would run out of air quicker than you think. In the last 15 years we’ve had 6 different coaches and over a dozen different quarterbacks. 1993 was the last time we won the NFC Central Division. Wayne Fontes was our head coach then, and for all the criticism that he seemed to endure then, he’s still the only coach that got us a home playoff win. We also won the NFL Central in 1991 under Fontes, and the only other time was 1983 under Monte Clark. So that’s only 3 NFC Central Division titles, 1 playoff win, and no NFC Conference Titles since the 40-year history of the Super Bowl. It seems that the only way there will be so many Lions Fans ever at the Super Bowl, is when were hosting it like this year for Super Bowl XL.

So why do we keep coming back? Because that’s what Die Hard fans do. I am a Lions fan by choice but also by default of being born and raised in Michigan. That’s basically the way I determine how a person can have a team that they call their own. I don’t have to be a Lions fan, but I can’t be a fan of another NFL team, that’s just how it works. Whenever I meet someone new who follows football, I have to hear their story as to why they follow whichever team they do, and decide from there whether or not they are “posers” or a logical legitimate fan of who they say they are. Very few people are allowed to have a team from a place they were not born, and that’s the bottom line. So, if you are born and raised here in Michigan, don’t try jumping on the old New England Patriots bandwagon, or the last decade’s favorite Dallas Cowboys bandwagon, or the new Indianapolis Colts bandwagon. If you’re not born there, then that’s not your team! However, here are three “extreme examples” of how you could have a team from a place you were not born. If you’re an amateur fan anyway who never really got into football, you could be married into a Die Hard Fan, and then root for his or her team. This kinda stuff happens all the time with Michigan-Michigan State marriages, I know you’ve seen the houses that have both flags hanging outside their house, I don’t know how they do it? Two different NFL flags would just not work. That’s just not cool! The second way is only in very extreme cases of where someone has been watching football on TV with their dad or grandpa their whole life rooting for the same team, and now realizes that they weren’t born where this team is from some 30 years later. Remember, this is only in very extreme circumstances and should be discussed extensively on a case by case basis with that fan. Finally, the only other way is if you were born on a Military base on foreign soil. Then you can pick your team, but only ONE time, and then that’s it for life. NO CHANGING!

However, recently, like every year when the Lions have officially destroyed their season and have mathematically been eliminated from the playoffs, there have been some Detroit Lions fans that want out all together. Like this guy that you may have seen on TV on one of the local news stations who auctioned off his fan loyalty for $286.00 on eBay. He did get 48 bids in his 10-day auction, not bad. He was offering to jump completely on the bandwagon of whoever won the auction including rooting for your team, making a team shirt, buying a team jersey, and if your team made it to the Super Bowl, he would even wear a Foam-Number-One-Finger during the duration of the game. What was most interesting about this was the 79 question and answer session that went on during the 10 days of his auction. You can get a few really good opinions of some Die Hard Detroit Lions fans going through the endless years of rooting for the Lions. Don’t give up hope guys, we only have to win one Super Bowl to die in peace. If you want to see the auction, it will be up for 90 days: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=8730484413

Then we have the “FIRE MILLEN” Signs that have popped up all over Ford Field since the firing of Steve Mariucci. Which by the way, was A VERY GOOD THING TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!! All that should ever be considered in hiring a coach is whether or not that coach is going to get us a Super Bowl victory! Not just a Super Bowl appearance, a WIN! Millen thought he had a winner in Steve Mariucci, but he did not! I’m very glad to say that I have not seen that annoying commercial anymore with Mariucci telling all of us that “We’re building something good here”. Apparently NOT! Very few “player’s coaches” can make it in the NFL. Mariucci was too much of a politician, who always seem to have a smile and a happy response, which had nothing to do with what was being talked about. I watched all the Lions press conferences, didn’t you too? Every time Mooch was asked a direct question regarding a very specific play or player, he would tell you an in-depth story that would go around the real answer and lead to another topic altogether. What’s up with that? This happened every time over and over again. It was like all of the Press were children being sheltered from the truth. It was like a slap in the face to us Lions fans. Like we’re below his intelligence to understand what’s really going on. Well Mooch, do you understand now?

Does this mean that firing Matt Millen is the right answer too? Not necessarily. It would depend upon a lot of factors starting with who Millen has in mind to take over the Lions. From there, Ford should decide to either keep Millen and go with his “last-chance-to-succeed-coach”, or fire him too and bring in a whole new front office. I mean come on, if Bill Walsh wants to come out of retirement and run the Detroit Lions, that’s fine with me! You have to keep in mind that there are a lot of very fickle Detroit Lions fans. You may be one of them reading this right now, or you may know who I’m taking about? I hate to rip on Lions Fans at all, but there are some Lions fans that deserve being ripped on! You may also know who I’m talking about? It’s almost like the “Fire Millen” signs are just for the attention of other fans around them, not for what the sign states. Try to understand what I mean when you see a lot of fans reacting over things that don’t make sense. Example: other than about 3-4 games that Joey Harrington started at home, most of the home fans “BOOOOOOO”  Joey almost every time he walks off the field. Without taking into consideration what actually happened in the last set of downs that took the offense off the field. These fans don’t see all the dropped balls that Joey threw right between the numbers of his jersey, or the coverage down the field which only gave Joey the option of throwing the ball away, or the offensive line that collapsed because the opposing teams defense is much bigger and stronger, so Joey had to take a sack. These are things that happen all the time to quarterbacks in the NFL and especially on the Detroit Lions. These are not logical reasons for BOOOOOing a quarterback. A lot of Lions Fans BOOOOOed Joey and chanted for Garcia. Once they got Garcia, they BOOOOOed Garcia and chanted for Joey. I understand that you just want to win, just like me, but do you think this helps the overall moral of the team? NO, it doesn’t.

Well, as Extreme Lions Fans say almost every year this time, “We always have the draft next year to look forward too!”. Well, we also have a whole new coaching staff to look forward to in this off-season. And hopefully the Lions will draft or make trades for what I think is the most important positions to draft for, the offensive line. You get a Pro-Bowl caliber of a front 5 on your offense with an average weight of 380 pounds and you build from there. Keep your hopes up Lions Fans! One of these years will be our time! If the Bucs and the Patriots can both win a Super Bowl, our time is not too far away. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all you Extreme Lions Fans, until next year, GOOOOOOO LIONS!

Tommy Ascencio
Extreme Lions Fan
elf@smalltownlowdown.com.

Got something to say about this article? Email us at info@smalltownlowdown.com